You should be happy to know that you are not being misled.You might not be totally happy with the conclusions, but that is for you to make your own mind up.There is (hopefully) a desire to see the other person again, to be bonded, and to deepen that bonding.Hence the desire to go on holiday together, do more things together, spend more time in each other’s company (which also prevents someone else sneaking in). Just like the quest for dopamine, there would be a desire to get another oxytocin hit, a friendly hug perhaps, or more.If you think about it, this is a handy survival mechanism.
For simplicity’s sake, we will cut short a deep discussion and focus on some core points.Dopamine is one of the most fundamental neurotransmitters we have. The expectation of dopamine drives our mind to control our body to do things.We think you wanted a coffee to perk yourself up, but in fact it was a dopamine cycle that kicked in to make your body get up and find a coffee to sate the dopamine expectation. Serotonin is serenity, ecstasy and the state of grace. Oxytocin is the bonding agent, the cuddle chemical.It is the lingering pleasure sensation we get that is less intense than dopamine, but nonetheless a powerful driver for our behaviors. This bonding agent makes us want to connect, physically, with another person. It is a powerful force, one that men sometimes complain about “she wanted to cuddle, I needed to get to work”, and women too “… Oxytocin can be easily fabricated, just with close contact to another human being (or a pet).
Just twenty seconds of hug contact, even with a stranger (with a tolerable level of body odor), can dramatically boost levels of oxytocin. The fourth chemical is a male neuro-hormone, vasopressin.Life without a partner can be significantly more stressful than life with one.